[Note: I initially wrote this as a journal entry. Really quickly. It just came through me. Then I decided to share it – it was never intended as a public post. I normally don’t share this stuff.]
I feel like I’ve almost been caged by my business. Like I haven’t let myself fully discover my true self. Or even feel a lot of the emotions that I want to feel. I’ve been so run down with the day to day, the management, the money, the operations, the people, the projects, the clients, the growth, the stress, the payroll, the technology… everything… that I often forget what it’s all about. About the Freedom. The Passion. The Purpose. It’s about Creation. But creation doesn’t come from a boggled might and a heavy heart.
Creation comes from a free mind and a light heart. From an open internal world, not one that’s constantly so filled with ‘busy-ness’ that it doesn’t have any space for real creativity. If I’m going to create something incredible, I need the mental and spiritual ‘space’ to do so.
That means I have to remove myself from operations… from the day to day. I have to trust good people to create good results. My job isn’t to be ‘productive’ so much as it is to be creative – not to produce, but to create. There’s a difference. A huge difference.
Every once in awhile I remember this. It might even last a day, or two, or three at the most. Especially when I travel. But mostly, I go back to work and get myself caught in the same cycle. A cycle of work and productivity, a cycle of reactivity, of dealing with issues, of trying to growing, of keeping people happy… all of this is good. But I don’t want ‘good’ – I want transformational. Not just transformational for me, but transformational for the world.
Not just for those around me. Not just for my clients. But for the fucking world.
I have something inside of me to bring to the world. Something that will change the way we live.
The good news is: I know it’s there. I know it’s powerful.
The problem: I have no clue what it is… yet.
And if I keep doing what I’m doing now – in the hustle – I’m afraid I won’t discover it. Or at least I won’t discover it soon enough. Not as soon as I want to. Not as soon as I could. And the sooner I discover it, the sooner I can create it – and bring it to the world. And build the team that helps me do it. And the longer I wait… well maybe I’m preparing. But maybe I’m scared. Maybe by the time I’m ready… it will be too late.
And what if I just go on a delusional soul search – what if what I’m looking for isn’t even there?
That’s where the incubator comes in. Maybe it’s not in me. Maybe I won’t be the one to create it per say – but rather co-create it. Maybe it’s in someone else’s mind and heart… and maybe it’s my job to discover it, help to co-create it, and bring it to the world. If that’s the case, I’ll find it through the incubator. And co-create a lot of other awesome ventures in the process, some of which may impact the world in ways I cannot possibly predict today.
But it’s that one discovery… I’ll just know it. And I’ll probably leave the incubator then. To pursue it with my co-creator. To give it my all. To give it my life.
So what am I waiting for? Time to make the leap…